I grew up in a generation where my friends all had either one or maybe two siblings. It was definitely rare to find someone that came from a family with more than 4 kids. I find it comical that now so many of my friends have 4, 5 or even 6 children (myself included)! Even with this growing trend of larger families, I still get the same reaction every time I tell somebody how many children I have...blank stare followed by "FIVE!" and usually "God Bless You!"
One time while dining at a restaurant a man came up to our table and told my husband he needed to "get it snipped"! My mouth dropped open! How rude! Why would you say something like that to a complete stranger... or anyone for that matter? My husband handled the situation like a true gentleman however and saved me from exploding on this mannerless person. Anyway it got me thinking, why do people always feel the need to comment about a large family? I am not sure what bothers me the most; that they make the comment in the first place, or that they say it in front of my children. It is the same as telling a stranger they are overweight or walking up to a pregnant woman and rubbing her belly. You just don't do it! To help those that might be unsure, I have complied a list of things NOT to say to someone with a large family.
- I am sorry! How Many?
- Are they all yours? (This isn't so much the question, as much as the way it is asked. Most people say it as if they just smelled rotten fish.)
- Are you guys finished now?
- You sure have your hands full!
- You do know where babies come from right? - I assure, I know very well! ;)
- There is a procedure for that.
- How do you feed them all? or How can you afford it?
- Better you than me!
- Don't you have a TV?
- You need to get a hobby!
- Are you trying to start your own sports team?
- Are you running a daycare?
- Your life must be like trying to herd cats!
I sure hope that you will find this list helpful the next time you encounter a large family. What strange or unsolicited advice have people given you about your family size?
P.S. There is still time to enter for our 1st anniversary The Virgin Diet Cookbook Giveaway. It is low entry right now, so you have a good chance of winning! :)
Linking up at Friday Pin Fest, Eat. Create. Party!, Let's Get Real Friday, Four Seasons Blog Hop, Show and Tell Friday, Weekend Wind-Down, Say G'Day Saturday
Linking up at Friday Pin Fest, Eat. Create. Party!, Let's Get Real Friday, Four Seasons Blog Hop, Show and Tell Friday, Weekend Wind-Down, Say G'Day Saturday
:) When I was pregnant with my third...and after when she cried for the first several months all the time...we had a lot of comments about full hands. They were.
ReplyDeletePS Have you personally heard all of these? Some are just as awful as what was said to your husband!
ReplyDeleteAnnette,
DeleteYes, these are all things we hear on a regular basis. Some of them are more annoying than anything else, but some are just plan rude.
When I was pregnant one time, someone asked me if I could get any bigger. Later I thought of what I should have said. Yes, I'm trying to go for a guinness book record!
ReplyDeleteHAHA yes that also seems to be a popular thing that people say to pregnant women. Just what they want to hear, right! My grandmother must have asked me with everyone of my pregnancies, "Are you sure you aren't having twins?" At least that wasn't from a stranger though. ;)
DeleteLove this - it is so true to life - when our three oldest were young - three aged three and under - I heard almost all of these. I was, frankly too tired to think of any clever, speedy comebacks! Now, I wish I could go back and say something about what a blessing each and every child was and is. As our family ages, we hear these types of comments less. Maybe because my children are older and most people are now commenting on teens - there's some creepy comments there too. Of course in my complete maturity, now I like to take my kids' friends and nieces out with us and let people gape at the amount of children I have in tow. I know not very mature of me :-)
ReplyDeleteBTW, Kudos to you and your husband for responding so well and keeping cool when these comments come your way.
Dorie,
DeleteI ALWAYS have something clever and smart I could say back, however MOST of the time I am able to bit my tongue and just smile. I would love to say to someone asking me if they are all mine, "NO! I just found this hoard of eerily similar looking children and dragged them to the store with me! What? You don't do that too?" Or to the person asking if I know where babies come from, "I do! It's fun...you should try it!" ;)
I've personally heard several of these but definitely hear "hands full" the most often. Maybe I should start asking for a dollar donation from each person and tell them it's for the cause! Meredith, I think it's perfectly acceptable to give a smart retort. Ask me a dumb question...!
ReplyDeleteThanks for that comment Laura. :) I do try to avoid the smart retorts because I want to have a good testimony, but I do usually have a good laugh in my own head about what I would like to say to them.
DeleteOh my gosh, these made me laugh, Meredith, but then I realized that people actually DO say these things! People tend to speak before thinking. I'm glad you have a sense of humour about it all. Fun blog you have here. I'll be following :) Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteThank you Robyn.
DeleteOh my gosh, I cannot believe that. I know when we said we were going to adopt a 3rd my then Pastor asked how many bedrooms we had in that house. I hope I have not said anything that stupid!!
ReplyDeleteCarolyn
LOL being asked how many bedrooms we have is actually not one I have heard. We do get, "I hope you have a big house." though. ;)
DeleteI agree that the comments in themselves can be brushed off - the saying it in earshot of the kids is what is hard for me. I always make my voice drip with love and gratitude for my kids when I reply to such rude comments - because I never want my kids to think they are the cause of some kind of torture for me, as people like to imply! Yes, my hands are full - and so is my heart!
ReplyDeleteI agree Kay. They are a blessing and I wouldn't change a thing even if I could! It isn't always easy, but I know how blessed I truly am. :)
Deleteoh my how rude! I would have loved to have a large family but married and had kids later in life but I am blessed to have two wonderful sons. Glad hubby kept his cool because I would have snapped! Thank you for coming back and linking up with us at the #WWDParty. Have a wonderful weekend.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for linking up with the Let's Get Real hop. We hope you'll link up again this week.
ReplyDeleteThank you Gaye and Antionette! I will be back. :)
DeleteI love seeing large families when the children are cared for. I grew up in a family of 8 children. We had so much love to go around. I wouldn't have traded it for the world. I have 4 children. My kids ages are 41, 39, 37 and 19. That brought lots of inappropriate comments too! The worst being was he an oops! I never wanted him to feel unwanted, or that he was an accident. I told them no, he was a wonderful gift. He has been such a great addition to my life. I feel so blessed. Thanks for sharing this with us at the Four Seasons Blog Hop. I will share this.
ReplyDeleteBetty, In my family there was 12 years between my younger brother and I and 9 between my brother and my younger sister, so my family often heard the "oops" comments too. My dad even had someone comment on how cute his grand-baby was one time! LOL That didn't go over very well. ;) Indeed they are all precious gifts to be treasured! Thank you for commenting!
DeleteLOL, I like the no TV one! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteHa! Yup. Although, I've caught myself saying the wrong things at times!
ReplyDelete